the reason

wish u’d drop everything and look for me right after
i’ve said all those things.
but u didn’t.

and i’m afraid of losing everything i’ve worked for
once i lose myself
in you.

there’s something dancing here in the shadows and i wish it were us

it feels unreal.
i feel like i’m making a mistake.
it’s like i’m throwing everything away
to see where they’ll end up landing.
but i can’t help myself.
i want to drift away.
from everyone
and everything.
i just want to be with me and my art.
i hope i’ll go mad
if that means i can create things out of the ordinary.
lives of van goh and rothko
they sadden and inspire me.
i can’t help thinking i’d end up like them.
if only the same holds true for the remains of my art by then
everything would have been worth it.

u can never run away from your past

N says: (1:01:05 AM)
u influence me on vertical horizon..u bought me a single album.
N says: (1:01:25 AM)
im a sound engineer now..all because of ur influence of music on me.
N says: (1:01:59 AM)
i was a short tempered hot tempered boy back den..u made me at ease n showed me that i can relate my feelings to songs n lyrics..
N says: (1:02:51 AM)
u r the only person back in skool that i was able to be myself n not sum guy they saw me as back den.
N says: (1:03:53 AM)
i treasure ur friendship up till today. i will n can neva forget u. u sumhow save me. do u understand now?

N says: (1:07:23 AM)
it neva mattered to me whether u believe me..all this time all i wanted to say..to u..is..H..thank u so much. u were the only person who sees me as who i m. n not what i was.. thank u. i was alive becoz of u n d things u made me believe in n especially music. again..u dun hv to believe me..
N says: (1:08:26 AM)
u made me c life as a bigger picture. i strive harder in life den any others becoz family was very poor back den.. but u made it easier for me.
N says: (1:10:08 AM)
i will always rmbr the quiet smile u gave me wheneva we pass each other.. i wil always rembr what u hv done for me.. i hv neva forgotten bout u. ahaha. dun get me wrong.. but if there is one person i wud trust my life with..it will neva be those gangsters i asscoiated myself with back den…nor the politicians dat r associates to me now..it will always be u.
N says: (1:10:42 AM)
u were the only fren that made sense. thank u.

faulty

i can’t do this.

my friends.. they make my life

feeling strangely detached
rising above the clouds
weightlessly floating
dreaming
and chasing.
these delirious thoughts
came into the head
and danced around in nonrhythmic swirls
unsettling the mind almost empty
tired from the day’s work
and the night
is filled with chaotic dreams.

she thanks her lucky stars
for a few true friends
who make her see the error of her ways
encouraging her to never give up.

OMG I FELL ASLEEP!

it was fucking AWESOME!!!
anberlin was the shit!
not a fan of their records
(cos they just sound like any other band)
but they were awesome last night.
caught the ambassadors as well.
pretty good stuff.
but i kinda grew out of their sound already.
don’t have much time left to do work now.
cos i fucking fell asleep
when i wasn’t supposed to!
OMG! OMG!

here’s a cover by anberlin that’s been on my tongue

and one more

upside down triangle

i hate the number 5679.
that’s the total amt of unread mails in my main gmail acc.
and i’m super lazy to do something abt it.

feel like some headbanging?

spaces

this vid is the shit.
one of my all time favs.
it’s wonderfully bleak.

djali zwan

this one is the shiznit!.
almost forgotten abt it.

she cries

everyday devotion
and the unwavering faith
gently envelop
killing her inside

she waits

humming to a tune that has no title or meaning
gathering thoughts that are in chaos
as they add up in layers
and her raw feelings
untouched by conventions
patiently await
for the abstracted dream
to unfold into reality

breathe me

i love this one.
n i love the friend for introducing her to me.

i wanna pick up guitar again

she reminds me of Lene Marlin.

when it rains

i love the sound of falling rain
accompanied by the lightning flashes
and the echoing thunder that follows close behind.
i could sit and watch all night by the fireplace.
only, i’m stuck in a graying apartment
that adorns this urban living space.

Video added.
Thx KPP <3

when the love falls – Yiruma

can’t think of a title right now

my mood fluctuates quite a fair bit.
especially in the past 2 days.
only now then the realization hits me.
it was the pms.
so it baffles me that i fail to see the obvious sometimes.
neway, school is ongoing.
bitch fights are starting.
and seriously, i dun give a fuck.
but the good news is…
old acquaintances are reappearing.
that definitely makes me happy.
cos nothing is quite like an aged bottle of wine.
and so are the friendships.
there’s one more reason to be happy.
but i’ll leave it at that for now.

sometimes words get in the way (part 4.1)

immobile

i liked working while on the go.
being able to jot down all the ideas that hit you at a moment’s notice.
and u don’t get stuck at home doing the things u’d rather be doing at a cafe,
sipping yer fav latte,
while watching the world go by.
kind of miss that feeling.
i like writing on a white sheet of paper,
but ideas flow more fluidly,
and thoughts come knocking down on my consciousness
when i’m typing.
guess i’m still a more electronic/gadget person,
no matter how much i try to pretend i am not.
okay, time to work harder
and be not choosy abt which freelance job to take up.

p.s. have to, got to, want to email F by coming Tues.
don’t hate me till then. ^^

coconut records

the video, the music, the mood. everything. love it!

you don’t know me

been watching this clip for the longest time.
love the atmosphere,
tho not a fan of JRM
and the blade thingy is cheesy.